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Need some Mature Godly Advice
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Anonymous
10/11/2008 05:08:56am |
Re: Need some Mature Godly Advice Dear All, I greet you all in the mighty name of Jesus. I need some mature and Godly advice from my brothers and sisters in Christ. I married to a wonderful man of God whom I love very much. I thank God that he is in my life and I have two beautiful step children whom I love very much. However there is one problem every weekend that my stepchildren come here they want to sleep in our room. One of them is 10 and another one is 12. I have a issue with this as I said to my husband that the children are going to teen years they should start utilising their room more. My husband allows them to sleep in our room sometimes without consulting me. Which I don't like. If the children were five yeras old I could understand him allowing them to sleep in our room but they are big children one is going to secondary school and the other is going to be starting secondary school. My husband says that they only come in the weekend let them sleep in our room. And I'm saying their geeting older they should start to utilise their room much more. I also believe that the martial room should be between husband and wife as that is their private place. This is beoming a issue. Please can someone give me some Godly advice. I'm I over reacting, if I am please give me some Godly advice on how I should stop over reacting. I really need some mature Godly advice on this issue, please help. God Bless you all.  Blackball this message as innapropriate |
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Anonymous
10/11/2008 03:52:53pm |
Re: Need some Mature Godly Advice How about having a one or 2 day daddy camp day in the kids room. Since they seem to be clinging to their dad right now, which they won't when they get a little older(teens- which start around 13 to 14). He will long for those days again and if you try and deprive them of this now when they get older it won't be easy to gain that love and trust in them. There needy now and letting them all have their "love buckets" filled now befor they reach teens may ease the teen storm down alittle. This is just my experience, I'm certainly not saying this will solve all problems but "I" think lots of cover in prayer for them all and a little patience may go along way. Blackball this message as innapropriate |
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Anonymous
10/11/2008 05:01:39pm |
Re: Need some Mature Godly Advice I would love to give you advice, but my advice would stick close to scripture as to why the Lord say's He hates divorce in the first place. The consequences are what they are. But, in everything, love, and put those children first; it's not their fault, and they won't be around in this way forever. He must have been a really special daddy during their lives. Blackball this message as innapropriate |
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Anonymous
10/13/2008 01:54:00am |
Re: Need some Mature Godly Advice Thank you both for your Godly advice. Your right the children won't be around in this way forever and also it is no point in depriving them from care and love and attention now. I realise the problem was with me I was being selfish and I have prayed to God to help me and to change me. Thank you both once again. Blackball this message as innapropriate |
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Anonymous
10/13/2008 09:51:21am |
Re: Need some Mature Godly Advice I was a "step mother" to my sisters kids and thought it was going to be a piece of cake. But it is HARD! To love others kids like you would love your owne. There is no easy solution on take it to the Lord everyday and ask for His grace. The above advice is good but it won't make it any easier on you. Sorry. But keep going to God for strenth and grace. Blackball this message as innapropriate |
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Anonymous
10/15/2008 08:17:21pm |
Re: Need some Mature Godly Advice Hello Anonymous: I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with you all... The bedroom is Private, between Husband and Wife Only... and far as relationships go- The Spouse comes First. Read it for yourself in the Bible. The kids grow up and go away, leave the nest. But Husband and Wife are together ForEver. What do you all think those marriage vows meant? If Wife has a prob. with it, then so should he, and it should be corrected. Also, yes I agree, I believe the children are getting too big, old to sleep in Parents bedroom. Doesn't matter if it's only on the wk.end or not. I have Two grown sons, and have been a step parent myself. No, anything but easy... God bless you anonymous... Just explain your feelings gently,loving to your Husband. He "should" be able to understand, and Yes pray concerning it that God would help your Hubby understand your feelings. Best Luck... ~S. Blackball this message as innapropriate |
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Anonymous
10/16/2008 04:39:50am |
Re: Need some Mature Godly Advice And I disagree with the last post, but not with malice. My point was, it's not about the children sleeping with or without a parent present. It's about divorce. Did God not tell us we would have consequences if we go against His word? Did He not say to stay married, but if divorce is imminent, then we are to stay single or we would be an adulteress? Well, if we do not listen to His command, we will suffer the consequences of it. That's all this is. It's consequences of disobedience. How can you measure step parenting with the word of God, and what is right or wrong, if the Father never gave instruction on it? How do you know what's right? You have to look at the divine order, and try and uphold what's left of the gifts and blessings you were given in the first place, which is the children. Personally, I would recommend a sleep-over in the children's bedroom, and get out of the maritial bedroom, because there's no roots there for those children. You can't rip off a branch of a tree from someone else's tree and expect it to grow on the other tree. That branch will die. Try it. Go outside to one of your trees and cut off a branch, and see what happens when you either glue it or nail it to another tree. There is no roots and it will die. It cannot live that way. So...the only ones rooted together are the dad and those children, so, for four day's a month, or whatever, let the tree and the branches that are rooted together, and that were meant by God to grow and nurture from each other, grow together somewhere else. Again, I do not mean to be harsh or mean, but the divine order is the divine order. If one spouse passes away and remarries, the consequences are most times amazingly different, once the healing of the death has transpired. Divorce is not God's will, in any situation. Blackball this message as innapropriate |
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Anonymous
10/16/2008 12:46:07pm |
Re: Need some Mature Godly Advice I Agree about the Marrige, Remarriage thing... And Yes... those consequences of Disobedience are Severe with a Capital S. Spouses come before children, or anyone except for God. Good post... :) ~S. Blackball this message as innapropriate |
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Anonymous
10/17/2008 09:24:31pm |
Re: Need some Mature Godly Advice Thats why I suggested a "daddy camp" maybe once a week then they all have there love buckets full. Not every night. When kids go through a divorce they get insecure and if your marraige is secure enough to share their father with them then why not have a little fun with them at the same time of getting them out of the "maraige bedroom" Blackball this message as innapropriate |
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Anonymous
11/10/2008 12:55:57pm |
Re: Need some Mature Godly Advice To the brother or sister writing about divorce, I think you missed the point. The sister is asking us for advice, but never said she wants to divorce the spouse for the reasons mention. Several problems crop up in marriage and it is not always that one has a solution to it. It is obvious this sister loves the husband at it is obvious she wants to remain in marriage. This is evidence by her statement and the forum she is seeking for advice. Telling her God hates divorce[Malachi 2, mathhew etc] has not provided solution. What we don't know is whether her husband knows the Lord, if he does she can use the word of God. However knowing God or not she needs prayers from us and personnaly needs to pray. Sister, you are not being selfish. Even if you had given birth to them you would still resent the children sleeping in your room. Here the situation is different since you would be bold to tell them not to without being misunderstood. Well, Like the first person responded to you, encourage your husband to have as much fun with them the day they visit. If possible create opportunities for this like suggesting he takes them out etc, you might even sponsor it. Having done that call your husbands attention the issue at hand. Let him know that your sleeping room is supposed to be private, between both of you, do the children could go in once in a while to pick or drop items, and that with permission of either of you. I expect that you would have prayed a day or two before the discussion. Ask God to be manifest present as you discuss and ask for wisdom and guidance. Don't be confrontational and not expect it to happen immediately[read ecclesiastic 3: 1-7] Blackball this message as innapropriate |
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